So I talked to the priest this past Friday…

making it only my second time to talk and the first face to face.  He was helpful and it was a great relief to hear an objective opinion.  He said to focus on Jesus for the next month.  Try not to think about marriage or the religious life but Christ and what He wants.  I am also rereading the New Testament keeping an eye out for anything vocational.  The priest also suggested I start to keep a spiritual journal but its slow going as Ive only made one entry, however he did say it could be hard at the start and not to quite.   I told him I had started rereading Story of a Soul and he said thats fine  but pay attention to how Therese prays not stuff to do with the Carmelites, so thats what Im doing.    He invited me to come back in a month and talk to him then and thats what I will do.

I should clarify that Im not clingy to the Carmelites, in fact they were my last choice.  Remember I did a novena to St Therese with a general intention that had nothing to do with the religious life.  She came back with “follow me to Christ”  I rejected this at first and thought I was nuts.  Eventually I gave in though and thought ok I will look through women’s orders just to prove there`s nothing for me and thats not my path, that Im meant for marriage.  During this I learned of the Carmelites but rejected them because I wanted no part of the cloistered life.    Therese seemed to be speaking to me in my prayer time again though saying “wear my habit,” and thats when I started to consider them, and the order I felt the strongest pull from when I let go of my preconceptions.